Wintergirl.

I want it to snow. I want it to snow. I want it to snow. It's getting towards Christmas, which has been officially renamed Cutemas in my book, and so I am turning into a child again, with a head spinning with tinsel-fairylights-paper-glitter-singing-smiles. Last night I chased a man dressed as Santa up the road, pulled in a sleigh in turn pulled by a car. I ran and ran and ran and ran, and when I caught up with him he laughed, and gave me a lollypop, and told me I had ovbiously been a good girl this year, so he would see me in a few weeks. Magical. First Christmas with the boy, so exciting, so terrifying, so wonderful all at the same time, need to feed him,sign of love don't you know aha. My NY resolution I think will be to spend more time on here, I love writing blog entries but I never seem to get round to them, and I know I am in trouble with a few people for this.

Missing.

Oh, because you never tried
To bow my will or break my pride,
And nothing of the cave-man made
You want to keep me half afraid,
Nor ever with a conquering air
You thought to draw me unaware --
Take me, for I love you more
Than I ever loved before.

And since the body's maidenhood
Alone were neither rare nor good
Unless with it I gave to you
A spirit still untrammeled, too,
Take my dreams and take my mind
That were masterless as wind;
And "Master!" I shall say to you
Since you never asked me to.

Autumn Dreams from a Knitted Queen

Autumn is coming, it may in fact already be here, hiding slightly behind that corner of the suns last gasp at sunshine. But I am not complaining, oh no no, autumn means hotchocolate-ridingboots-leggings-handknittedjumpers-frostybreath-quietnights-cuddlesunderthefluffet-beautifulcolours-crunchyleaves-jumpinginpuddles-soups-longwalks.

The time when me and him are moving in together is creeping ever closer and bringing with it promises of morning kisses and night time sweet dreams. We will be so content, we just have to hold on through the distance until then, hold onto each other tight.

We must find the perfect place, on the smallest budget possible. I want a tiny cottage, but I know it's probably out of the question, a student and an admin queen can't quite stretch to that sort of thing, no matter how many cabbage roses grow around the door, and how windy the garden path is.

In two weeks I go on an adventure, adventure, adventure. They are one of my favouritest things to do in the world. I am going on a magic bus for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours to meet the boys family for the first time ever, I am nervous, so terribly nervous, what if they think I am not right?

What if they don't think I am the princess for him?

Camera Obscura

So I succumbed to pure vanity and allowed my amazingly talented friend to take some professional photos of me (for his work see http://www.fotu.co.uk).

The shoot was ever so fun, the day was sunny and bright, and the tiny city with the cathedral was full of smiles and laughter.

We got a book from the antique bookshop, and it pained me to return it, it was beautiful, and gilt edged, and whispered of heroes who conquered mythical beasts, of love so great it changed the seasons, and of gods who altered lives on a whim.

My clothes are a mixture of charity shop, vintage and high street, as per normal. The heeled shoes are Kurt Geiger, I got them from the sale at Selfridges in London, the skirt is shockingly enough from New Look, again in the sale, and the vest I found kicking about in the bottom of one of my drawers.



I had so much fun, and so did Chris, so expect to see many more pictures from various other shoots up soon, and any ideas would be most welcome!



The rest of the day was concerned with beautiful cupcakes that tasted like heaven, drinks with old friends, and long bus rides home staring at winding country roads.

I promise for more entries soon, I know how terrible I have been!

New Bedroom, Old Style

Everything has been so crazy, so up and down and all over the place. I've moved this way and that way, and now it would seem I am finally settled I hope.

I have started working on the bedroom I have moved into, but it will be a long and slow process before it is perfect, however I am damn sure to make it a fun one.



This is the material I am using for the curtains, I am not putting them up like proper curtains, I am tying them up with ribbons and bows and the like!



The other end I have tied up with pink ribbon, eventually I will get matching but I am not sure what colour, maybe teal as I want to paint the walls peppermint.

The material I used for the curtains came from my local Scope shop, and with matching pillow cases, cost me £3.50.





This is my new bed covers, also from a charity shop, it makes me think of biscuits in bed, adventures, and cuddles on rainy days.




It's hard being away from him so much, it makes me sad all the time that I can't fall asleep on his chest, or wake up to a morning kiss, but I suppose I should be grateful that I do at least have someone!

Thought of the day - would you rather know everything, or nothing at all?

Love,

Bee

Ahoy Face

I really am getting a touch too addicted to Polyvore, and am forever damning my best friend for setting me on to it.

I cannot stop shouting random Black Books quotes at people, and hardly anybody gets it, it really is quite disappointing, although you do get some amazing looks when attempting to slip phrases such as 'I ate all your bees' in to the conversation.

P.S. I want to be a sailor...

Ahoyface by Boats Birds Bees featuring Diane von Furstenberg

Dainty Face

Daintyface by Boats Birds Bees featuring Vera Wang jewelry

These please?

Kings, Queens and Jelly Beans

Bee been concerned with dances-raindrops-postcards-holdinghands-jellybeans-cardgames-fairystories-thefuture-sparkles-ohwherehasthesummergone-toast-London-panic-naptime-him-and runningawayfromwasps.

I want to go live in a meadow. I want to have a tiny cottage, in the middle of a flower meadow, with a path and a stream and a bridge and a tree with a swing. I want floral wallpaper inside and a pastel kitchen and massive squashy chintzy arm chairs and a cat and flowers everywhere.

I want to have a career where i get to read whatever i want all day and not do much else. I want to bake cakes, go to village fetes and never ever ever ever ever wear jeans.

I think I could live without most technology - a diary could replace a blog, I barely watch television, the obsession with it confuses me, why watch TV when there are so many more worthwhile books out there?!

I could fill my house with old books, live amongst the heros and villains of the pages, take tea with Alice, have adventures with Don Quixote and contemplate moral issues with Raskolnikov.

Sometimes I worry I would almost too willingly relinquish all human contact for books, but then I remember him, and my girls, and I realise there are three people I could never give up.

I don't want to grow up, but I'm pretty sure I want to live with him, in the cottage in the meadow, with flowers in my hair and holding hands forever.

You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!

There is nothing that evokes the joys of childhood like sneaking into a deserted park and letting your inner child loose inside.

Personally, this charming girl likes the swings best, and always points her toes at the sky.

Tomorrow, go to your local park, and as soon as the sun sets, make like me and fly.

May I have this dance?

Sometimes, I find myself watching old fashioned films, and sighing over what we have lost.

No longer do we have that grace of society, when girls were really girls, and men, well - were men. Not that I have anything against girls wanting to dress masculine, or boys getting in touch with their feminine side, I just sometimes wish I could step out in a proper dress for once, and not be looked at strangely.

No longer do we have debutante balls to celebrate the entering of a young lady into society, a few remain, cast into the shadows of Paris, and reserved for only the super rich - before they were far more commonplace, and while still only for the upper echelons of society, were certainly more accessible than these far off fairy tale dreams of today.

With this death of such events, it seems chivalry has also perished, I'm all for being an independent woman, but would it kill a guy to hold a door open once in a while? To bring flowers? Saying this, I'm pretty much set with men, not letting go of this one, but I see my friends constantly struggle with utter bastards, and I have to wonder what happened to dance cards, courting, and fathers permission.

So I say this - girls, wack on a frock, and lets go out dancing!

The Great Bra Drama

It occurred to me recently how misguided the current industry is when it comes to lingerie (and as a result, how grateful I am to Bravissimo for being there for me!)

I'm a 20 year old girl, and I have 28H breasts - there, I said it. It feels filthy, like I should be saying it at some kind of Breasts Anonymous meeting. The stigma around having big breasts follows me, constantly those of us with a bit more up top are made to feel although we are slutty, or worse, deformed.

Yes - deformed. Why is it when such a large percentage of UK women have above D cup breasts (the UK average is more like a 36C than the commonly thought 34B), so many stores stop at a C/D (Topshop, I am looking at you), thus making us feel like freaks, confined to the internet for our lingerie, or to specialist shops which are only in a handful of towns across the country.

So many of us are wearing the wrong size of that, and its either through not being fitted frequently enough (ANYTHING can make your boobs fluctuate, I swear!), or through poor fitting advice - to give you some idea, the only places I trust near my boobs are Bravissimo, or Rigby and Peller - why skimp on something you have for the rest of your life.

As an experiment, I went round all the usual UK high street places that use a tape measure to do boobs (for me, a cardinal sin of boobage, how does this work when boobs extend side ways and upwards - not just outwards),

First port of call, Debenhams, who put me in a 30FF - close, but no cigar, I was busting out of the sides and top, and it was too loose around the back, I was then informed that they simply 'did not deal with people like me' and was referred to my faithful friend, the internet.

Next - onwards to La Senza who attempted to put me in a 34F, which yes, gave me ample cleavage, but also left me feeling as though in ten minutes I would have escaping boob syndrome!

I also tried M and S - possibly the best fitting advice out of the lot, who put me in a 30G, looked at me sadly and said 'I am so sorry darling, we won't be able to help you'.

All in all this high street experience has made me feel as though I am a freak for being a skinny girl with big boobs - yes, I am unusual, but I feel like I am being influenced into changing for this, and I certainly do not want to lose my figure.

High street - take notice, we are out here, we are chesty, and we want bras!